Dear You

Dear Me, I am sorry. Sorry, I diminished you. I honestly didn’t know what you wanted, but I surely knew what you did not want, raw callous touches. Touches that has no warmth, not now, not further.

I let him touch you, grab you, kiss you, and insert himself in you. There was no love, his skin was hard, and eyes was grey, barring any love. I knew it was excruciating, those thumps were. It was demanding, cold, detached and thus aching. That cupping of your chests, those hard bites which usually you love didn’t seem passionate at all. He somehow sucked the love out of you, my dear. I let him coddle you like he wants and now how you liked. I let him sunk his teeth and claw his nails into you, mistaking it as passion of love. His smile, which I thought was the joy of loving me was nothing but one of the conquered war. He whispered sweet nothings in my ears and like a fool, I embraced him as my savior.

I thought this is it. This is what I want, this is what it means to see a castle in your dream. You loved the fairy tales, I instead wrapped in you the cold blanket of meaningless shivers and spikes. He slid one sun-kissed smile at you and I would make him your prince. Over and over and over. You thought you can change his grayness into red, you tried your best to make out of nothing. You tried, you cried, again and again. You screamed, I let it go into the hollow deafness, mistaking it as screams of pleasure.

I get it. I get it, now. I couldn’t differentiate between warmth and a blanket of cold pretending to be the warmth in my life. Oh! Things he has done to poor you. I am sorry. All I can say is sorry. I can’t take back the scars, I can’t take back the dark hollow dreams, but I can keep them from deepening further. Because, now I know, what it is to not be loved, if not what it is to be loved.

The Beach

Come to the beach, where the sea is blue,  and the sunny little white waves come running to you, kiss your dainty toes. let's splash around for a while. Come, let’s build the castle by the sea which I'll deliberately prolong to be with you. we’ll look for shells if you'd come with me, honey. let's gaze at the golden prepare its bed, the trail of copper it leaves behind is a mark of its momentarily farewell. let's light up the wood sweetie, the tangerine makes you look angelic; I wish I could hum some tunes of love to you while you hit the chords. Those glimmerings from the twinklers sets the perfect tone to end the dusk.  Your face is radiating pearls of love, your unbuttoned collar brags the broadness of your shoulder and the toughness of your muscle. I love the frail smiles you pass every time you stare at me.  Hold my waist by one and hand with another, the palm of my feet rest on yours; let's swirl a little honey. You know you can move.   Gaping at the diamonds lying down on the grains, while you unveil the mysteries of your abode above has always been a special remembrance of you honey. The light is flickering hinting the death of ignited woods. The pink streak is the one I fear, the dawn; the moment that separates our entwined curls of our bodies. The Angel appears! The granted wish has come to an end.  And once again, my heart is drowned in the sea of your thoughts, a deafening thick of swelling silence. Will I ever be able to caress you again honey?

Touch

Under the purple sky, 

with few glimmering silver as a witness,

in the eye of the storm,

in the center of the eclipse, 

All I can look at is the curl of your lips,,

in the total darkness, I reach out and touch.

Lets get past all the rules, 

The pain is determined and demanding,

I've lost a part of me in a war against destiny,

but I'm okay,

cz I don't wanna say goodbye.

I wanna see the stars with you, 

I don't wanna uncurl our entwined bodies,

I don't wanna build a home with you, 

I wanna be a wanderer with you.

Oh baby, I wanna see the rises and sets, 

the storms and tides,

I wanna sail the mighty sea,

I wanna scream wild,

I wanna deep dive,

I wanna be a wanderer with you.

Shadow

Your Shadow

That night,she felt like her ceaseless wait was over.

Her wood-brown curls waved in the air blowing through the wind. The moon lit up her pale face. Her legs dangled off at the edge of the comfy-chair. The classic story by Peter Brown was resting on her lap.A sketch book too was waiting for it's turn, it’s pages empty. She held a pencil but didn’t touch it to the paper.

 Every few minutes water brushed off her feet with the salt. The sand behind was shinning silvery white. The glitter in her eyes were the reflection of the floating pearls in the water. The forest behind was such black where even the darkness would fear to enter. The stars covered the sky like a blanket. Smoke rose up circling in the air from the burnt woods.Aroma of lilies bathed the atmosphere.She could feel the tranquility in surrounding.

He tip-toed from behind without a noise. She didn’t glance back, she didn’t turn her head; she made no indication that she even saw the man behind.

 His beach-colored bottoms hanged loosely.His demeanor perfect to arouse her breath. He was wearing her favorite Ralph Lauren's off- blue shirt revealing his neat chest. He never forgot his treasured Rado. His jet-black hair with soft cuts covered half of his forehead.He smelled of Versace.God's flawless carving!He planted a peck on her head from behind and stood back.

The girl closed her sketchbook. “I’ve been ready. I was only waiting since years.” She pushed a strand of hair falling on her cheeks behind her ear and stood up.

She turned facing him with a smile on her face. “Let’s go!”. He observes her lean body. The Christian Dior's milky white gown flew loose ending up just above her ankle.Her locks ended at her slender waist with caramel-highlighted curls.A silver bling hung around her bare neck complementing the diamond hearings which he gifted her on their last Valentine they celebrated years ago.

Her little bare feet covered with mud and salt were perfectly carved.Eyes puffed due to unending tears spoke of ages they longed to glare him for once.He wished to tie knot with her for once but destiny had other plans for them.

She saw 'no' shadow of him...

“Don’t be so cheerful,” he told her, turning around. “This isn’t a happy errand to be doing.” They walked across the pier, side-by-side. The man was inches above her head. They looked picture perfect. “Yeah, but,” she paused for a moment. “It’s an errand with you! You know how rare that is, don’t you? We never get to do this.” The man frowned at her.

“You have a much different idea of this than I do,” he muttered. “I don’t see this as very exciting in the least.” They stopped at where the pier met the street. That’s why I’m here,” the  girl chimed in. “I make it become exciting.” She grinned at him.

"Yeah, that's exactly why I've chose you", he said wiping the baby tear cornering his eye. He lightly tapped her back and whispered in her ears "let's go. We don't have much time sweet-heart"

The girl followed him holding his soft palm escaping through bones and flesh dissipating into air.

REFLECTION

Reflection..

I love the moments where I'm untangling my hair in front of mirror and i can see your reflection standing behind me smiling at my struggle.

I stare angrily at you.You slowly walk towards me.Stand an inch close.You inhale my scent and i feel your breath on my bare neck.

Slowly you start untangling my hairs with your knuckles running your fingers through my wet strings.Very easily you straight them as if they waited your touch.

You turn me,locking my strand behind the ears.Kissing my forehead you whisper"I love you".

I reach your lips n inch away and the moment i try to touch them you vanish away.My hairs dripped water on the wooden floor.I turned to look for your reflection and my hairs remained tangled.

Her Diary 

I’m unable to see things. My vision’s blurred…
[Clearing my watery eyes]..Yeah, Now..now I see you!
See you..drifting away..miles uncountable..
Blurry though, I stare at you walking slowly towards the No-Me-zone..
You have starved yourself dear…
That baby-pink shirt which used to fit you inch by inch now hangs like a robe..
Those denims which flaunted your perfect butts now are sorry too..
Your curvaceous body that could make anybody crazy is unhappy being reduced to skeleton..
Your eyes that radiated blinding shine once is now hollowed enough to reveal your excruciating pain..
I?..I am one ready to be buried back to earth!
Man!! These watering eyes and heavy heart are disabling me to watch you one last time…
Why on earth is the word Goodbye invented even??
Well, the first time I saw you, I married you in my air bubble.
Why everywhere in the crowd I looked for you??
Why seeing you every-time I saw you made my adrenaline rush??
Why did I made space for you in my bed wishing you would fly in at midnight??
Why seeing you with Any-Her burned my inside??
I recollect you loved my watering nose wetting your shirt as I sobbed hugging you tight..
I recollect while you enjoyed untangling my hairdo, I loved breathing in your nostalgic fragrance..
I remember we couldn’t kiss for the first time because every time we tried, a big laugh escaped through us..
I also remember how bad you are at applying nail paint..
I remember…..
Once when we were busy ogling at literature..
You- Hey!
I- Yeah?
You-I love you!
I (suppressing my smile)-Shut-up and study man!
You -Nooo..Please!!!!!
I-what!! I’m already married!
You(with sheepy eyes)- When? whom?
I-To you..Long ago…
You(amazed look)- I never had a honeymoon then!!!!!!!
Today the same you stands in front of me with a straight face failing to show the love we had, though your sore eyes reveal your last night..
Ouch!! That cold look piercing my soul inside..
You-Sorry, I cant any more.
I- Why???
You-There are many reasons, I cant enlist them.
I- You have none. There’s something too dark inside you to be shared.
You (kissing my forehead)- Please take care..and you turned back ready to depart..
 I couldn’t move.Momentarily paralyzed I watched you walking away with your bag-pack you used to take only for long tours..yeah, this is long one indeed!
A voice unable to find an opening screamed inside me-“Hey!Hey!Hey!Stop!Please!Hey Listen!NO”
You stopped and turned back.
Yes! Thank God! I knew it.
I could see your tear-filled eyes; you flied a kiss and said-“Laters Baby”
I crashed to ground. Fainted. Woke up only to find you GONE..FOR EVER!
– Jasmine Dugar

Unlike Rainbows and Butterflies!

A simple love with a complex touch

 When you touch someone's heart,its limitless.

No this is not a mournful prose of lost love,its an eulogy of tender words that kindles the forgotten smiles.Love is like scattered rain;not here not there but everywhere.The rhythm of the rain coincides the beating of my heart.

I lend my ink to thoughts of you,what comes out is solitary .I drove for miles and miles and wound up at your doors.I've always had you but somehow needed some more.Knowing all that makes you for who you are, i knew you'd try too hard.Now can you see me above your head when you lie on bed?
For my life has been spent sailing to find your shore in the sea of strangers.You're in my highs and lows;in my mind you come to and fro.You are like sun to night like momentary gold.Like dawn dimming the glowing stars.

I tend to be insecure but it doesn't matter anymore.Life is not all about rainbows and sunshine ,its compromise that moves us along.For life is how two souls find their last but integral piece in one another. Along the chest lies the heart,in the heart bubbles the beats.Your desire reigns the beats. With every beat grows the pain but its the only essence of your i possess.I don't mind spending every day out on your corner in pouring rain.Dancing straight until it pains.To spend your love until you're broke.But sometimes loving you is like chasing the cloud.I am like a lonely kite lost in flight that you had once blown.

It was question i wanted to ask though i knew what's gonna come-Do you love me? In your hesitation i found the answer.A song cannot be un-sung;A feeling cannot be un-felt.For I was high with chaos that controlled my mind i ain't hear your whispered goodbye and you got on a plane to never return again.That's how you are like flicker of the blown candle.

They said you are not coming home but they also said the world was flat!There will be a light in the hall and keys under the mat if you wish to come back.There will be a smile on my face and coffee hot and we'd pretend that you were never gone.